The Lobster Almanac. More important than any Farmer’s Almanac.

A lobster claw harmonica. For when life gets really hard and it actually sounds like a good idea to blow out a tune on a lobster claw harmonica. Probably toxic.

A lobster pillow. Possibly not actually a lobster pillow.

A big lobster plush. Regularly sighted crushing the cutest cat in the world as picture shows.

A metal lobster sign. Why this exists and why somebody thought this would be a good idea to create and sell for any being aside from me is a mystery.

Two Ty Lobster Beanie Babies from 1993. Codename “Pinchers”. Their boss is a man of humour and originality. One of them has a tag protector, one doesn’t. One is probably a piece of shit.

Mini Ty lobster McDonald’s prize from 1993. Made out of pink paste, just like their chicken nuggets.

Lobster plush with cut tags. Usually seen cradling a bottle of whiskey.

Russ lobster plush. Lethargic and uncaring about life.

Lobster dog chew toy. Forever looking over his shoulder due to past traumatic instances. Doesn’t appreciate barking, biting, or the saying that involves previous two activities.